Wednesday, February 29, 2012

four legs under the blanket ...

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Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two! ...

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. ...

"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.

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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Why are u arrested?

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Judge :-
 why r u arrested?
Sardar :- 
 for shopping early?
Judge :-
 well, that’s not a crime!
Sardar :- 
Yes ... that's not a crime...
Judge :- 
anyway how early were u shopping?

Sardar: 
before opening the shop…..

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Monday, February 27, 2012

Traffic Signals

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Saturday, February 25, 2012

But then I got a job ...

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Initially... you know... I used to work too hard , but then I got a job ...

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Thursday, February 23, 2012

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Once during a Management training program, a team of Senior Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So these Managers went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.

They're falling off the ladders, dropping the measuring tape - the whole thing is just a mess.

An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to  do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from  end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers,

Re-erects the flagpole and walks straight-away.

After the Engineer has gone, one Manager turns to another and laughs …

"Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length!"

Moral: No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you.

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Sunday, February 19, 2012

Funny but true

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If a man has an apartment stacked to the ceiling with newspapers, we call him crazy. If a woman has a trailer house full of cats, we call her nuts. But when people pathologically hoard so much cash that they impoverish the entire nation, we put them on the cover of Fortune magazine and pretend that they are role models.

If a man has 

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Friday, February 17, 2012

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Benefit

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Patient - Doctor I am taking daily medicines costing about Rs. 100 daily, but I could see there is no benefit.
Doctor - O.K I will give you the medicine costing Rs. 75, so that you will have benefit of at least Rs. 25.

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Monday, February 13, 2012

Bump on head

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A patient with a bump on his head comes to the doctor.
Doctor - How did it happen?
Patient - I was trying to break a rock, hitting on it with my fists. One of the passer by said, " Use your head"

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Saturday, February 11, 2012

Best way

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Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.


"I started a new practice last year," 


The first one said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months."

"Why in the world would you do that?" the other asked.

She responded, "It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without."

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Thursday, February 9, 2012

Dentist joke : How much it cost?

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How long will it take to pull my tooth? The patient asked the dentist.

Only two seconds

How much will it cost?

Fifty dollars.

˜For only two seconds of work?

Well, The dentist answered coolly, I can pull it very slowly if you prefer !

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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Lie Clocks

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A Man Dies.
In Heaven He Sees A Large Wall Full Of Clocks.

He Asks Angel: “What Are These clocks For?”

Angel Answers: “These Are Lie Clocks, Every Person Has Lie Clock! Whenever You Lie On Earth, Clock Moves.”

The Man Points Towards A Clock And Asks: “Whose Clock Is This?”

Angel Says: “It's Mother Teresa’s. It Never Moved, Showing That She Never Told Lie”

The Man Asks: “Where are Politician’s Clocks?”

Angel Replies: “Those are in Our Office, We Use them  As Table Fans“

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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Boss joke

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Boss is like a diaper ... Always on your ass and usually full of ... !

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Friday, February 3, 2012

Difference between mom and wife

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Son: Papa...Please tell me the difference between mom and wife?

Father: Simple ... One who brings you into this great world crying and the another ensures you continue crying..

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Thursday, February 2, 2012

It will defeat the purpose ...

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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" 
She answered, "If I tell you, it will defeat the purpose."

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Guess?...

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I saw a woman wearing a T shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

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