Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Marriage is made of Trust & Understanding

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What a Married Man says after years of Marriage:- 

My Marriage is made of Trust & Understanding,
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She doesn't Trust me & I don't Understand her...

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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

This is called creativity...

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This is called creativity...

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Monday, October 8, 2012

Getting smart ...

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Getting smart ...

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Sunday, October 7, 2012

Guess Who is Drunk

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Guess Who is Drunk 

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Thursday, October 4, 2012

When lion attacks sardar

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In an African Safari, a LION suddenly bounced on Santa wife.
WIFE cried :-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I changing the battery of my camera..

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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Don't copy if you can't paste

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A famous inspirational speaker said :-
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"

Audience was in shock and silence..

He added: "she was my mother"

A big round of applause and laughter!

A very daring husband tried to crack this joke at home

After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:-
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
standing for a moment, taking a meaningful pause at the same time trying to recall the second line of that speaker

By the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling water!

Moral: don't copy if you can't paste!

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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

It's so simple to be wise.

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It's so simple to be wise. 
Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite ....

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Monday, June 18, 2012

Crazy or not Crazy?

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Doctor was on his visit to the psychiatrist Hospital. He was stunned when he came across John, after visiting few of the patients. " My God, Who is the crazy person who has admitted you in this hospital, you seems to be completely normal to me'' 
" All those are crazy people, who had admitted me here'' John said calmly, " Can you imagine Why they admitted me here...  They admitted me here because  I prefer  sandles than shoes''
" What nonsense, How come, anybody could do this ... you know I also prefer sandles than shoes..."
" What do you say!,'' John said with a a special blink in his eyes, "  How do you prefer sandles, fried? ... or boiled?''

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Friday, June 15, 2012

No more intimacy please ... Handshake is fine

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No more intimacy please ... Handshake is fine


Mr. Bean expresses in his usual funny way ...

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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Puzzle jokes

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Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?

A: The letter "m".

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Big trouble

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First: I'm in a big trouble!
Second: Why is that?
First: I saw a mouse in my house!
Second: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
First: I don't have one.
Second: Well then, buy one.
First: Can't afford one.
Second: I can give you mine if you want.
First: That sounds good.
Second: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
First: I don't have any cheese.
Second: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
First: I don't have oil.
Second: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
First: I don't have bread.
B: Then what the hell is the mouse doing at your house?!


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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Newton's fourth law of source of air ...

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Newton's fourth law of source of air ... 

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Friday, June 8, 2012

What a sneeze can do...

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What a sneeze can do...

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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Following

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It is good to follow something .... But to this extent

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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Assumption

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Practicing break dance steps

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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

How you would like to die?

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When asked, how he would like to die, the man told :
" I would like to die just like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming or yelling like the passengers in the car he was driving"

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Friday, May 25, 2012

Drunkard

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A drunkard, who was fully drunk, picking up an empty bottle from the bottles kept in front of him,  said -
" You are the one, because of whom my wife left me" and then he broke it throwing it on the ground.
Then he picked up the second empty bottle -
" You are the one who spoiled my house" and he throw it angrily on the ground.
Picking up the third bottle he said -
" You are the one who spoiled my whole life" he broke this one too.
Lastly he picked up the last bottle, which one was still full,
" You don't have to worry ... you are not at all at fault... on the other after this much of misery ... you are the one who is going to give me a support" he opened it and started to drink.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

New Cell Phone

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A lady buys a new Cell phone.
To surprise her husband
She goes to the Kitchen, and ....  calls her husband...
"HI DARLING"
He says "Call You Later Dear ... The devil Is in kitchen"

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Sunday, April 29, 2012

When sardar was shocked

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Banta got an Invitation for Party,
They told him that he must put BROWN TIE only.
When he went to the party,  he was shocked???
WHY?
because others were wearing pants & shirts also...

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Friday, April 27, 2012

How many Apples can you eat in empty stomach?

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Boy: How many Apples can you eat in empty stomach?
Girl: I can eat 6 Apples.
Boy: You can eat only 1 apple in empty stomach because when you eat the second Apple that's not in empty stomach..

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Thursday, April 19, 2012

Released in the interest of People !

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If your Wife kises u

Every Time u Come home, beware ... Its Not Affection..

Its Inspection Of
Liquor, PERFUME OR LIPSTICKS..

Be Careful.
Released in the interest of People !

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Monday, March 26, 2012

Did you know ?

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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

What should I do?

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Chaman - My wife is passed away yesterday, I tried hard, but I could not get tears in my eyes, What should I do?
Mani - Nothing ... just imagine she has came back.

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Monday, March 19, 2012

What would you do?

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Teacher: Imagine you’re in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?

Boy: Easy, stop imagining

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Friday, March 16, 2012

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Why are you late?

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Wife: Why are you late?

Husband: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.

Wife: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?

Husband: No. I was standing on it

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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

What time does the library open?

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"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked. 

"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"

"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.

"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"

"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Psycho, The Rapist

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Santa goes to a library and asks for a book ” Psycho, The Rapist”. The librarian searched for hours… comes back slaps Santa & says ” Idiot! The book is called Psychotherapist”


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Monday, March 12, 2012

Windows Addiction

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Even when his Internet is down, Ted can still use WINDOWS

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Friday, March 2, 2012

Two Ladies are Fighting...

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Two Ladies are Fighting For A Seat In A Bus ..

Bus Conductor: The Older One Should Sit Here

Both Looked At Each Other
And The Seat Remained Empty

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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

four legs under the blanket ...

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Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two! ...

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. ...

"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.

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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Why are u arrested?

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Judge :-
 why r u arrested?
Sardar :- 
 for shopping early?
Judge :-
 well, that’s not a crime!
Sardar :- 
Yes ... that's not a crime...
Judge :- 
anyway how early were u shopping?

Sardar: 
before opening the shop…..

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Monday, February 27, 2012

Saturday, February 25, 2012

But then I got a job ...

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Initially... you know... I used to work too hard , but then I got a job ...

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Thursday, February 23, 2012

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Once during a Management training program, a team of Senior Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So these Managers went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.

They're falling off the ladders, dropping the measuring tape - the whole thing is just a mess.

An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to  do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from  end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers,

Re-erects the flagpole and walks straight-away.

After the Engineer has gone, one Manager turns to another and laughs …

"Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length!"

Moral: No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you.

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Sunday, February 19, 2012

Funny but true

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If a man has an apartment stacked to the ceiling with newspapers, we call him crazy. If a woman has a trailer house full of cats, we call her nuts. But when people pathologically hoard so much cash that they impoverish the entire nation, we put them on the cover of Fortune magazine and pretend that they are role models.

If a man has 

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Friday, February 17, 2012

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Benefit

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Patient - Doctor I am taking daily medicines costing about Rs. 100 daily, but I could see there is no benefit.
Doctor - O.K I will give you the medicine costing Rs. 75, so that you will have benefit of at least Rs. 25.

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Monday, February 13, 2012

Bump on head

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A patient with a bump on his head comes to the doctor.
Doctor - How did it happen?
Patient - I was trying to break a rock, hitting on it with my fists. One of the passer by said, " Use your head"

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Saturday, February 11, 2012

Best way

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Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.


"I started a new practice last year," 


The first one said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months."

"Why in the world would you do that?" the other asked.

She responded, "It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without."

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Thursday, February 9, 2012

Dentist joke : How much it cost?

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How long will it take to pull my tooth? The patient asked the dentist.

Only two seconds

How much will it cost?

Fifty dollars.

˜For only two seconds of work?

Well, The dentist answered coolly, I can pull it very slowly if you prefer !

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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Lie Clocks

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A Man Dies.
In Heaven He Sees A Large Wall Full Of Clocks.

He Asks Angel: “What Are These clocks For?”

Angel Answers: “These Are Lie Clocks, Every Person Has Lie Clock! Whenever You Lie On Earth, Clock Moves.”

The Man Points Towards A Clock And Asks: “Whose Clock Is This?”

Angel Says: “It's Mother Teresa’s. It Never Moved, Showing That She Never Told Lie”

The Man Asks: “Where are Politician’s Clocks?”

Angel Replies: “Those are in Our Office, We Use them  As Table Fans“

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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Boss joke

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Boss is like a diaper ... Always on your ass and usually full of ... !

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Friday, February 3, 2012

Difference between mom and wife

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Son: Papa...Please tell me the difference between mom and wife?

Father: Simple ... One who brings you into this great world crying and the another ensures you continue crying..

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Thursday, February 2, 2012

It will defeat the purpose ...

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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" 
She answered, "If I tell you, it will defeat the purpose."

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Guess?...

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I saw a woman wearing a T shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Politician ...

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Politician is a one who takes a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.

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Monday, January 30, 2012

Challenge!

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A computer once beat me at chess, then I challenged it for a kick boxing.

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Sunday, January 29, 2012

Politicians and Diapers

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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.... the shit!

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