Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an I. Student: I is the . Teacher: Stop! Never put is after an I. Always put am after an I. Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
The Wake Up Call A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 6.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, Please wake me at 6.00 am. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadnt woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed it said It is 6.00am; wake up.
A little boy goes to his father and ask, "Daddy how was I born?"
The father answers, " Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to his the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What isPolitics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call meThe President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call herthe Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call youthe People. The nanny, we will consider herthe Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call himthe Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.' So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.' The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.' The little boy replies, 'The Presidentis screwingthe Working Classwhilethe Governmentis sound asleep.The Peopleare being ignored andthe Futureis in deep shit.
A person goes to the doctor with his 3 year son.
Person: - Doctor, my son has swallowed a key, so we came to you.
Doctor:- When did he swallowed a key.
Person:- 10 days back.
Doctor:- And you are coming to me now, after 10 days.
Person:- We had a duplicate key, but today it is lost.
Media person – (to the spectator coming out of the movie theater) How is the movie? How is the role of Katrina kaif?
Spectator – Movie is so so …. In fact I was waiting for Katrina kaif to come in saree the whole movie and she comes in saree in the last 10 mins.
Media person – My God … that means she was without saree or what the whole movie except last 10 mins.
Teacher : - Listen girls! houseflies mostly feed on uncovered food. Now tell me what does the butterfly feed on?
Mohan:- Very simple, butterflies feed on butter.