Monday, June 29, 2009

English Doctor jokes - First child

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


English Doctor jokes - First child

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

Friday, June 26, 2009

Mental hospital jokes - Discharge from Hospital

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


Mental hospital jokes - Discharge from Hospital

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.


Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.


When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.


When he went to tell Mary the news he said, 'Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'


Mary replied 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.'

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

English science jokes - Relativity

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


English science jokes - Relativity


When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

--- - Albert Einstein

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

Friday, June 19, 2009

English lover jokes - kiss jokes

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


English lover jokes - kiss jokes

Boy Lover - I never miss to kiss the post tickets stick on your posts, because it contains the touch and the smell of your lips... you know.

Girl Lover - Oh, I am sorry to inform you that ... my old maid servant sticks those tickets...

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

English sardar santa banta jokes - Born Sardar

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


English sardar santa banta jokes - Born Sardar

Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.


The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.


The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, ou were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."


Santa neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.


The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.


There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb but now yara(dear), you are a potato and tomato"!

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

Monday, June 15, 2009

English jokes - What time is it?

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


English jokes - What time is it?

BLONDE: 'Excuse me, what time is it right now?'

WOMAN: 'It's 11:25PM.'

BLONDE: (confused look on face) 'You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

Friday, June 12, 2009

English kid jokes - Doctor nurse

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


English kid jokes - Doctor nurse

A woman brings eight-year-old Little Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Little Johnny's mother says, 'Let's not be too harsh on them . they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.'

'Curious about sex?..' replies Mary's mother, '.. Fortunately I reached there on time... otherwise he was about to cut her stomach by knife to remove her appendix out!'

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

English Blond jokes - A blonde gets a job as a teacher.

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


English Blond jokes - A blonde gets a job as a teacher.


Watching the kids play she notices a boy in the field stood by himself while all the other kids are running around having fun with a ball.

She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

"Are you ok?" she says.

"Yes" he replied.

"You do know that you can go and play with the other kids" she says.

"Its best I stay here" he said.

"But why?" says the blonde.

The boy says "Because I'm the fucking goalie!"

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

Friday, June 5, 2009

English Call center joke - Customer complaint

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


English Call center joke - Customer complaint

Customer: I am in serious problem.

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle (@ ) around it?

English Call center jokes, customer complaint jokes, serious jokes, Real jokes, Email jokes, Tech support jokes, Alphabet jokes, ampersand jokes, problem jokes, email writting jokes, phone jokes

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

English Blonde jokes - How many blondes

Previous Joke Next Joke

.


English Blonde jokes - How many blondes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to put the light bulb in, the other to turn the ladder.

English comedy, English laughters, English comedy literature, Funny literature, Online English jokes comedy, Free English jokes literature, just English jokes comedy, English Blonde jokes

.

Previous Joke Next Joke

POPULAR JOKES======>

Custom Search