Monday, June 30, 2008

English Jokes - Night Watchman:

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Advertising sure brings quick results--last week I advertised for a night watchman--the same night my safe was robbed.

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Friday, June 27, 2008

Gags, Jokes Video clips - Laurel & Hardy

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Monday, June 23, 2008

How twin towers could have been saved in 9/11 attack...

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Comey video clip - Dancing baby

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The Dancing Baby, also known as "Baby Cha-Cha", refers to a 3D character and 3D-rendered animation of a baby dancing for several seconds. The video, one of the earliest examples of an Internet phenomenon, became popular in 19961997 after being distributed widely over the Internet. The dancing baby originated as a collection of experimental testing data and files, ultimately released in Fall/1996 as a product sample source file with the ground-breaking 3D character animation software product "Character Studio" that is used with 3D Studio Max (both products from Autodesk). The original sample source file was produced and prepared by the original Character Studio development team (Michael Girard, Susan Amkraut, John Chadwick, Paul Bloemink, John Hutchinson, Adam Felt) of Unreal Pictures and Kinetix (Autodesk). Part of the original Dancing Baby data consists of animation keyframes that were manually and automatically generated in the "Biped" portion of the Character Studio toolset. Contrary to popular misconceptions, the original Dancing Baby animation data (keyframes) were not created using motion capture at all.
Subsequent to its release, animators in the commercial sector have used or modified the Dancing Baby source file using the Character Studio product to produce different versions of rendered visualizations for use in media. This helped develop the Dancing Baby animation into a meme or media and internet phenomenon. The dancing baby video and its variations have appeared in a broad array of mainstream media, including television dramas (e.g. "Ally McBeal"), commercial advertisements, and music videos such as Blue Swede's cover of the song "Hooked on a Feeling (Ooga Chaka)." More stylized versions and parodies were created shortly thereafter, including a 'drunken baby', a 'rasta baby', 'samurai baby', and others many more.

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Monday, June 16, 2008

Animation Video clips gags - Hair Style

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Watch the Gags & funny cartoon created using flash and subsequently converted to .avi format.





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Friday, June 13, 2008

English Joks - pionist

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A man comes into a pub, sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The bar keeper brings him his beer. After he has drunk it, he grabs in his bag and puts a small piano on the bar, grabs in his bag and puts a small chair on the bar and grabs a third time in his bag and sits down a small man on that chair.
And the small man plays piano very well, a the most beatyful music they've ever heared. After he's finished, everyone applauds. And the bar keeper asks the man: "Where do you have it from? It's so wonderful."

And the man said: "I own an dgini-lamp. And so I got this by a wish of mine. Hey," he said to the bar keeper, "do you have a wish? You can wish you everything!"

"Me?", the bar keeper asks. "I have a wish for free? Coo-ool." Ok, no sooner said than done, the man grabs in his bag and gets out from it the meant lamp. He rubs at the side of the lamp and the dgini appeares: "Ok, budy. You have one wish for free." And the bar keeper says: "I wanna have one million dollars!" The dgini snap one's fingers and disapperes, and all over the bottom are dugs. Small, yellow cackling dugs. And the bar keeper said to the man: "But I wanna have dollars, not dugs." And the man: "Do you really think, I've asked for a 12 inches pianist?"

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

English joks - Little Johnny

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Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals.One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"


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Friday, June 6, 2008

English joks - Blonde Diary

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January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.


February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.

Helllloooo!!! bottles won't fit in typewriter!


March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6

months.....box said "2-4 years!"


April - Trapped on an escalator for hours.....power went out!


May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water

won't fit into those little packets!


June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.


July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the

other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!


August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because

soft-top was open.


September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it?


November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per

pound and I weigh 108 lbs!


December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on

the stupid phone!


What a year!!

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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

English Joks : Priest and lady

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A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"


"Of course. What may I do for you?"


"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the

Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you

could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"


"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."


"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."


When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"


"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."


The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"


"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."


Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!

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Monday, June 2, 2008

English Joks - Reading Test

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1. This is this cat

2. This is is cat

3. This is how cat

4. This is to cat

5. This is keep cat

6. This is an cat

7. This is old cat

8. This is fart cat

9. This is busy cat

10. This is forty cat

11. This is seconds cat


Now read each line

Now go to the third word & read straight down..

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